Weighing In On: Guitar Hero

Is not so great, actually.

Other things that aren't so great are bong hits and staying up until five in the morning eating stuffing and pie.

This weekend has left me exhausted.

Turkey Cooking Diary, Photos

My dad called them "the girls." Which is also what he calls me and my sister. Weird.



Working my magic.



Giblets!



An example of how crowded it was.



Fifteen cousins (missing Stephanie).



Friends!!!!!

The Pie Report: Thanksgiving Recap

Perhaps you thought I was going to go through Thanksgiving without a single mention of pie. Of course you would be DEAD WRONG. One of the benefits of having thirty-nine people over is the volume of pies accumulated. We basically had every major pie group (within seasonal limit).

The Pecan Pie: I was so full by dessert that this is the only pie I had immediately after dinner (other pies were sampled mostly by hand, in front of the fridge at three in the morning). The crust was particularly crumbly, I would guess an all butter, no shortening recipe. But I think this works well with pecan pie. I do like it to be a little gooier but I think that was mostly a function of pan size. For me pecan pie should always be on the crispy side (because of the glorious nut caramelization effect). This one was a strong example of the form.

The Pumpkin Pie: It was not until the Great Leftover Distribution that I realized that my aunt Marian, who has five children and works nights as an ICU nurse, made BOTH this and the pecan pie. Wow. Anyhow I have no agenda against canned pumpkin. In fact the opposite might be true. I would say it's one of my favorite canned vegetables. I am pretty sure the filling started in a can, but the texture was very good. The crust was definitely the same as the pecan, but not as crispy and so not as crumbly. I do like a little whipped cream with my pumpkin, but generally our desserts were without garnish, so it is forgiven.

The Creative Pie: There's usually one dessert made each Thanksgiving that breaks with tradition. My family is pretty big on tradition so it's never anything too crazy. This year my mom's cousin Joanie made a cranberry apple pie. The filling was really quite tasty. It might have been a bit more tart, but with a group like this you probably want to play it safe (to my shock and dismay the chocolate birthday cake was significantly more popular than any pie in attendance). My major critiques were pan depth (too shallow) and crispness of crust. Although the sugary, pale crust can be quite tasty and is certainly typical in recipes involving strawberry-rubarb fillings, I am always in favor of a more golden, more flakey crust.

The Family Tradition: Since I was a child the swiss chocolate pie has been a staple of the Thanksgiving stable. My uncle John's birthday is the 22 of November and it's his favorite so usually my grandmother makes it. My grandmother isn't particularly interested in the tedium of making crusts so normally the pie consists of a chocolate filling in a pre-made graham cracker crust with whipped cream topping. My aunt Allie made the pie this year and did a cookie crust from scratch. It was stilling very gooey (the pie needs to be served at near freezing and we were low on freezer room yesterday) but quite tasty nonetheless. I am obviously more partial to the spiced offerings (apple, pumpkin) but this was the only dessert to yield no leftovers.

The Apple: My mom makes amazing apple pie. This is actually a proven fact. She brought one to Maine when we went with Josh, Ryan and Alex and they still talk about it. And honestly I didn't even have any yesterday. Because while apple pie with a little melting scoop of vanilla ice cream (we didn't even have ice cream yesterday) may taste pretty fantastic after a meal, nothing compares with a breakfast slice with some bacon or chicken apple sausages on the side. And that is the thing I am truly thankful for.



*In addition to the briefly mentioned chocolate fudge birthday cake there was also a cheesecake and pie crust cookies called "zizis" in the dessert spread.

Turkey Cooking Diary

So I did it. Well... apparently I under did it and it had to be done more but I pretty much cooked a turkey today. It was remarkably smooth going compared to my mother's process. Whenever I felt like there was a lot to do I just looked over and saw her cursing the stove or her potholders or the ironing board. Calm by comparison, that's the ticket. I would like to recommend that should you choose to cook a turkey, it's probably not a good idea to get drunk the night before. Should you try this you might find that the very sight of raw poultry skin could make those awful nauseous chills go up and down your arms. Not to mention the awfulness of standing next to a bowl of cherries and apricots soaking in brandy. So gross.

Happy Thanksgiving!

AHHHHHH!!!

I thought I was getting a ride from Park Slope at one but I am actually getting a ride from Manhattan at noon.... I slept until ten! I haven't packed or showered! I planned to bring a case of wine and all my laundry! How am I ever going to make it??

Mary J.

Yesterday I was sitting in my living room when suddenly a song began as though someone had pressed play on a tape deck in the very next room. It was the first verse of my elementary school favorite "Real Love" by Ms. Mary J. Blige. In retrospect I am pretty sure it was coming from a person making her way up 12th street very slowly, but the car stereo was balanced in such a way that the instruments and beat were totally gone and all that you heard was voice. Guys, I was basically transported. The weirdest thing is that it started and ended right with the verse. I never heard the chorus. Anyhow, I think it's best for me to take it as a sign. Perhaps a sign that I should dig up some of those early 90's classics (I know I am ready for a little more En Vogue in my life). Perhaps merely a sign that my little plaid hat with the brim (so much like Mary J.'s signature!) is in fact the right fashion choice for the moment. Regardless, I just wanted to tell you, Madame Blige, that I am, as always, listening.

The Most Perfect Video

My obsession with the Muppets is pretty well known. Josh and I often fall asleep to the melodious strains of season two of the Muppet Show. Perhaps slightly less well known is my love/hate fascination with Liza Manelli. It's so captivating/horrifying how she is always so ridiculous and over the top but also never anyone besides herself. I would hazard to guess that only Leila and maybe Tommy really know the depth of my affinity for the Copa Cabana Song. And who but the Internet could deliver such a magical synthesis? Only Liza could deliver the maudlin undertones of this heartbreaking story song with six foot furry co-stars. Bravo. No. Brava!

Preparing Turkey

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, my thoughts naturally turn to flaky crusts and gooey fillings. This year, however, I will also be taking on a new and somewhat stressful responsibility. I am going to make a turkey. Mind you it won't be THE turkey. My parent's are hosting an intimate Thanksgiving for forty; there are soup kitchens that will be serving fewer people than my mother on Thursday. One turkey simply will not suffice for that many people. And so, my mom is making two "little" turkeys, her cousin is making one and my grandma is making a turkey breast. In this situation "little" means fourteen pounds, so really there's going to be tons of meat. I suggested to my mom yesterday that she try this tasty lemon and thyme roasting preparation I used on a chicken a few weeks ago. And somehow this suggestion led to my agreeing to prepare one of my mother's two allotted turkeys. So now, rather than the backseat helpful position I normally take at Thanksgiving (or any other occasion for my mother to spend seven or more hours in the kitchen), I will be right in the middle of things. Lovingly basting my bird with a paste of olive oil, lemon juice, garlic and thyme. Surrounded by shrieks offset by burning pot holders and dropped pies. Happy holidays indeed.

Weighing in on Holiday Songs

This year musical and commercial manifestations of the Christmas season started immediately after Halloween. To be fair, I wasn't in the country at this time last year, but in my memory there was a lag period of at least a week. I started noticing lights in trees and on sign posts around Columbus Day. They weren't lit, but it was so early I wondered whether they were premature or left over from last year. On November 3 I heard Christmas carols in the lobby of a movie theater. Really it's too much. I am already entering retail stores in fear of hearing that awful Chipmunk's Christmas Song ("Huuuuuula hooooooop!").

My friend Jess has begun a correspondence with Boston radio station WROR addressing their plan to play ONLY Christmas music between last Monday and December 25. The producer who responded to her very reasonable letter basically said, "You're no fun." But really, making the Christmas season eight weeks long seems like a sure way to drain all of the fun from it. Even my mother, who normally is a pretty level headed person, has fallen victim to this marketing scheme. She is going Christmas shopping today with a bunch of lady friends (and many of them are Jewish!). The madness must stop. Just as the presidential campaign should not begin two years before the election, the Christmas season should not begin two months before the holiday.

Why So Hateful, Internet?

Do you remember how I used to make those ridiculous videos when I was in Amsterdam? Well the only way I could make them appear on the internet was to upload them to a video site to host them. So those videos, mostly forgotten by myself and the people I intended them for (that's you, dear readers), have been collecting dust on YouTube for over a year now.

Recently I received a notification that someone had commented on one of my videos. Actually I received two notifications of two comments in the same day. Confusing, really since I hadn't looked at my YouTube account in over six months. The comments were from some dude in Michigan telling my I suck. Twice. In one day. Today I got another comment on a different video from a charmer in San Diego calling me gay.

Let's be real now people. If you are looking through YouTube and came across a video that looked like one of mine, why would you even watch it, let alone take the time to comment on it? I'm not trying to whine about people being mean on the Internet because it's a tiresome topic, but it seems a person must be blinded by malice to take the time to tear apart such poorly made, ridiculous stuff. I mean, maybe my friend from Michigan is a big fan of the often forgotten musical Mame and feels personally offended by my treatment of one of its beloved songs? I mean I doubt it, but maybe.

Clean slate.

My computer is all better!

Live from the Apple Store!

Bad news, EPE fans. My computer is very very sick. I just consulted with Francis, an awkward, blunt Genius who has told me that at any point everything on my computer might be erased and gone forever! My only option is to back everything up, wipe the computer and reinstall the operating system. Apple thinks this is simple and something I can easily do myself. I am not so sure. I am going to attempt this technological miracle working this evening but should I fail (or fall asleep or whatever) this blogging everyday thing could become quite tricky. I'm not making excuses (yet). Hopefully I'll be back tomorrow with the freshest, cleanest computer of all time. For now, pray for my poor computer as she is about to go under the digital knife.

Tasting Notes: Bitch Barossa Grenache

So in case anyone wasn't aware, tonight was the premiere of Project Runway. And it also coincided with my getting off work early. Sometimes the gods smile upon you! So Richard and Cathy were here when I got home and I stopped by the liquor store I was drawn to this bottle. Maybe it was the name (basically) or the pink label, but I chose this wine called "Bitch." I figured that if there's any night for a girly wine, this was it (we also do Gossip Girl, so...). I've already told you about my grenache, garancha, connonau or whatever phase. When I went to the register I was embarrassed and said so. But the saleswoman (from behind bullet proof glass) was like, "This is my favorite wine. It is so good." There was something about her black lip-liner made me pause. You know how when you drink a lot of red wine it sort of your lips? I have bought many lip glosses with names like "merlot" or "burgundy" to mask this issue, but this woman seemed to have gone the opposite way. She was embracing it. She continued, "I take a bottle home every night, but tonight i"m gonnna take two because I always want to drink more of it." Yeah, I could use another. Damn. It is really delicious.

*So I had actually consumed this bottle of wine when I first wrote this post. So I had to edit it a little. You know, to make it coherent.

** Also 2006 is the current vintage not the 04 pictured. It's really young and light.

The Photocopier

I have been photocopying for about seven years now. Of course I dabbled before then. A couple of pictures for a school project. A literary "magazine" in fifth grade. Nothing really serious though. I actually can't remember the specific circumstances surrounding my first serious copying job. But it was definitely at Latin. I am pretty sure I was a senior. And I was making lots of copies either as a detention or to get community service hours. Alternatively I might have been illegally copying scripts for the drama club. Whichever way, the circumstances were ridiculous. And because I was clearly not a teacher, teachers almost always felt entitled to cut in front of me.



I am pretty much in the situation now. Generally being a publicity intern is the very bottom of the pecking order. When an editorial assistant or someone from accounting needs to make a quick copy they are usually apologetic and ask nicely. But editors and other senior or important people just jump right in. I know making five copies of a two sentence blurb about an appearance Paul Krugman made in Chicago over a week ago is ultimately not the priority for ANY part of the company. But it's what I have to do.
So yeah I know it's not that important, but be a little bit nice when putting someone's menial job on hold.

Tasting Notes: Fruity Wines, also excuses

Fuck. Technically I did not post on November 13. But since it has been November 14 for exactly eleven minutes and since I have already demonstrated the blogosphere's (ugh... actually the worst word I will ever use on this site) bias against service professionals, I consider myself forgiven. And while I was considering making this post about excuses for not posting earlier, instead I am going to write about wine which I never do even though it's a pretty big part of my life between my job and all the time that I am not working. But briefly:

I didn't post on November 13 (technically) because...

-I had to make a super great impression at my internship today because everyone was out of the office and I was in charge of the phones and handling emergencies. I mean, no emergencies happened, but I talked to an art history professor at Penn State about how he could access information on a book that was never even published in 1943.

-My computer is hopelessly ill. I was going to have Mac geniuses suckle her to health today but I had to be at the work that pays me annoyingly early and the work that doesn't pay me annoyingly late (see below and above respectively).

-I worked tonight. And even though I was only there for six hours, I contend that those six hours 4:30 to 11:30 are really prime blogging time.

And by way of transition... While I was at work tonight I tried a few new wines. This is actually a pretty frequent occurrence since I work at a wine bar and we have a terrifically lax drinking policy for staff. But tonight we were doing this ridiculous tasting for a party (I mean, thirty people who were drunk before they started have six different wines while STANDING??? Fuck that), and they were having some pretty good wines. Of course when we do tastings we are pouring smaller glasses and they are priced according to the number of people not the number of bottles. So basically there was some really good stuff left over.

Anyhow, one of the bottles was a wine called Sulleria (which normally has an accent over the I but I don't know how to make my computer say that), which is a 2003 sangiovese/nero d'avola blend from Sicily. Actually I am not certain of the year which is bad. But this is like the Polaner All Fruit (the kind you can't call jelly) of wine. It's rich and deep with fruit, chocolate, some hazelnut elements. The shit is off the chain. And they were having it with these shortbread cookies topped with a hazelnut and chocolate panna cotta. Wow. It's packed with so much fruit but with these other elements, it balances. It's ridiculously rich, but it's so good.

So after the shift I was sitting at the bar having a snack or dinner, depending on your perspective, and I tried this cabernet that we are doing by the glass. It was also pretty fruit driven. But while in the Sicilian wine the fruit tasted like it was super ripe and still warm from the sun (Sicily is, like, hotter than most places in Italy), this cabernet from Alto Adige (which sort of snuggles up against Austria) has a bright cherry thing happening. And that probably has a lot to do with the climate. It finished almost spicy too, which somehow seemed off balance. That's pretty strange for me since I am into spicy wines and am maybe going through a particular phase with them (see the bottles of garancha in my recycling). But the thing that really made this wine just lose in my book was the damn new oak. Yuck. It is so bad.

Basically I haven't mentioned that the Sicilian wine is on our list for $80 a bottle and we sell the cabernet for $10 a glass ($36 a bottle). So that should be considered in the comparison. But I have never really tried to write about wine before and it's good. It makes me think about it more clearly and see where my biases are. And I'm sorry to subject you to my snobbery. But really, no one is making you read this.

*I don't know this guy. But he looks like an old professor of mine.

Reviewed: Torchwood

I have been living with crazy-fancy cable for three months now. But it was only two weeks ago when I was sick that I discovered BBC America On Demand. And with this discovery I also found Torchwood. How can I begin to explain? The show isn't particularly well produced. Special effects tend to come out of nowhere. Characters often remain undeveloped for countless episodes before taking center stage. Story lines almost always end completely cleanly at the end of each episode. But, but, but... I have always had such a soft spot for science fiction and they approach the subject soooo broadly. Fairies, aliens, time travel... everything. And they have that exuberant BBC approach to sexuality. Practically no one is straight. And there's basically no such thing as fidelity. And when they do finally get around to developing characters, they have a fairly subtle approach. What more do you want from television? I swear, watch a few episodes and you'll be hooked.

Sunday Cooking Diary: Magical Rainbow Curry!

So tonight is the first installment of the new Pot Luck Club I am joining. I am making a meat dish this month. Which is sort of surprisingly hard because I love the veg. So this morning I decided to make this herb stuffed, spice rubbed turkey breast that Rachel Ray made for her 60 minute Thanksgiving. On a side note, in an earlier time Rachel Ray's speed and skill with the yum-o factor would certainly engender accusations of witchcraft. Anywho, I printed the recipe and went to brunch with Arjun and Anthony thinking that I would stop by Whole Foods on the way home.

Apparently I didn't bring the recipe with me. Fortunately, the ever resourceful Anthony had a magical internet phone and found the recipe for me. Unfortunately, Whole Foods did not have any fresh thyme. Or cilantro. I mean, what kind of sham of a supermarket are they running? Frustrated and nervous about the time frame for the pot luck club, I desperately sought inspiration. Suddenly, a bright purple bulb caught my eye. And it was cauliflower! Purple cauliflower!

Arjun had the good idea to make it into curry (and not just because he's Indian, if that's what you're thinking). And so I quickly bought a yam, some carrots and some chicken legs. When I was chopping, I realized that all the colors were so bright and vibrant, I ought to call it rainbow curry. I also added some kale for green.
And for a while it was looking really lovely. Sort of liquid-y but really nice. This was not meant to be. The curry I just put into a tupperware is pretty much brown. I cooked it way too long and all of the cauliflower broke down and bleached out. It is easily the least appealing looking thing I have cooked in a long time. Boo-hoo.

So I have developed a back-up plan. I am going to wow everyone with 64 delicious oz. of Six Point Sweet Action beer. That's right, I bought bulk beer. And the bottle is refillable. Good plan, right?

Games!: Mystery Photo

So basically the name of the game is guess what the photo says about me today. Unfortunately I am off to work.

Hover Car Solutions: Brooklyn, north and south

Because I work on Saturdays, Friday nights are my only chance to do weekend things with my normie, day-jobbing friends. For me Fridays are more like Thursdays, since I work the next day, but generally I try to go out and do social things. Tonight I am confronting the common problem of where to go. Since I moved to Park Slope in July I have had to negotiate the divide between northern and southern Brooklyn. As manifest by my move, I prefer the south. But Josh and many of my friends still reside up north. And so, I am faced with a forty-five minute G train trip before even eating dinner. Times like this make me question what all of this technology in our lives is really for. I mean, maybe I am going to press the "publish post" button in a few minutes and you, my world-wide friends, will be able to instantly soak in my words, but I will still languish on a rickety subway car for near to an hour to travel only five miles. I mean, I might as well take a stagecoach. Actually that would be faster.

A List: Things I Have Cut with My Wine Key

Various types of sales labels out of clothing.

Limes for gin and tonics while sitting on a park bench.

Packing tape on boxes.

Badly tangled parts of my hair (gross).

My hands.

My coworkers (accidents!).