Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Urgent Alert: Seal Terror!

It is with great sadness that I relate to you, dear readers, that a harp seal "adolescent" has been shot. Shamefully, it was in the waters off the coast of my home state, Massachusetts, that this dastardly deed was done. It is an unfortunately common practice for fishmermen to shoot seals found in fertile fishing areas. In this particular case, the (as yet unknown) shooter used a shotgun (that's the nasty kind that puts lots of painful little pellets into bodies instead of one bullet). And to make matters worse, the harp seal is fairly rare in Massachusetts, so this particular pinniped was our guest!

Perhaps some of you are not aware of my fondness for seals, but you can expect more important updates about all marine mammals in the future. Until then, do keep your eyes peeled and your ears to the ground as the hunt for this villan continues.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The Continuing Story of Ronjo, The Tiki God

So lots of people ask me lately why I chose to study abroad in Amsterdam. If only our lives were so radically digitized that I could immediately link them to this article.

Puppy Beer.

I know I am a shithead about updates. But I found an apartment, I'm working again, I turned in my colloquium rationale on Monday (only two and three-quarters months late!) and once I finish this ridiculous paper for Saskia "I Will Kill Any Joy Performance Ever Brought You" Kersenboom I will be back to my normal schedule of homework and procrastination about finishing said homework.

I will also make a New Year's blog-resolution to avoid run-on sentences.

Till then, a photo story of a run in with an angry Tiki god in the off season in Montauk:

Ronjo holds court at the base of the desolate motel. His giant gleaming red mouth moistens as he remembers the copious tan bodies which crowded his lap all summer.

Unfortunate and unwitting Joshua happens upon the ravenous god. Overcome by his majesty, Joshua takes pains to show his respect.... Nay, admiration... Nay, LOVE! for this glorious being.

Sadly, Ronjo will not be moved.

Thinking it is taking Joshua a long time to get a sandwich, I go after him. Death hangs in the air as I approach the idol.

"Are you really gone, my love?"

Fighting back the tears and gathering all my courage, I challenge this Ronjo.

But Ronjo will not be moved.