Pi Day:A Candied Bacon is Possible

I must begin my pie day post with two warnings. The first is: no matter how many pies you have made, you must never be cavalier about how much water you add to your dough. Wet dough won't roll out. It's as simple as that. The second warning is more dire: you might have the means of making candied bacon in your house right now. I know, you're thinking, "Candied bacon is a rare delicacy, reserved for artisan confectioners with booths at flea markets and bespoke neckties." But it is not. It is easy to make. And- unsurprisingly- it's a delicious addition to nearly anything.

I decided late in the game to observe the pun-influenced celebration of pie on March 14. Things have been pretty tough in my professional life lately and it seemed like a good way to blow off steam. And nothing makes a bad week shorter than coming home to a slice of pie every night. I wanted to do something fun and interesting, but I didn't want it to be too experimental. I thought about variations on crust and variations on filling. In the end, I was inspired by two recent desserts I've eaten. One was the promising, but ultimately disappointing Bacon Apple Cheddar Pie at The Blue Stove (it is a peril to my health that this store is so near my house) and the other was a simple but transcendent apple crisp at Dumont.

Over the course of the day I tossed around various apple pie experiments I might try. A part wheat crust. Cheddar cheese. Peanut butter. I remembered reading a recipe recently that described a simple method for making candied bacon. Eager to correct the failed crumble topping from my Pancake Bread Pudding, I began to dream up an apple pie topped with crumbled, salty-sweet bacon bits. Many of you know that I am no stranger to having a piece of bacon or two with a slice of apple pie. I can think of few breakfasts I would rather eat. I had never put bacon into a pie before because it seemed so likely to take a wrong turn (as in the case of the Blue Stove). By candying the bacon I could preserve it's crispy texture and prevent the fat from overpowering the other ingredients. I laughed a bit to myself, imagining crunchy bits of bacon and pecan all over toothsome, sweet apples. How was I the first to think of this??

I was pleased with the plan. A simple apple pie with a crumb topping. I began to make my crust, whirling the ingredients (I do half butter, half shortening) in my Cuisinart. Then I made my big error. My mother, who is my personal pie guru, swears that while the food processor is ideal for mixing your fats with your flour, you can only get a proper texture by adding the water to bind the crust by hand. I have gambled in the past and won, but yesterday I was not so lucky. The crust seemed softer as I put it in the fridge to chill, but I assumed that was because I had used room temperature shortening (oh vain mortal!). When I tried to roll it out the first time it got all over the rolling pin and was impossible to lift. So I added flour and chilled it again. Still the crust was completely impossible. I ended up finger pressing it into the pan, chastened by the experience.



As I mentioned the candied bacon was a total breeze. I took three strips of bacon from the freezer (I freeze bacon in individual servings because I am a lonely spinster) and let them defrost. I covered both sides of each strip with maple syrup and put them under the broiler. I turned them pretty regularly with tongs and took them out before they looked too crispy. Once it had cooled, the bacon was shiny and hard (do not try to drain it, it is very sticky when hot). I chopped it up into little pieces and mixed it with pecans, butter and brown sugar. I tasted the mixture to make sure it wasn't poison. It was not.



I used two apples (one granny smith, one red of some sort) tossed with a couple teaspoons of sugar and cinnamon (I repeated the process of mixing the cinnamon and sugar beforehand). I filled the crust and sprinkled on the topping. I baked the pie for about 25 minutes. The apples still had a bit of crunch. The topping didn't cover the pie tightly so I wanted to be sure that the filling didn't dry out too much. I have to say, this is one to repeat. The crust wasn't pretty, but the flavor was great. I really liked the texture of the apples (gotta slice em real, real thin). And the scant distribution of the topping kept it from getting too rich.

Beta Test: Pancake Bread Pudding

It seems writing this blog has inspired me to be a bit more creative in my kitchen endeavors. It will also (hopefully) motivate me to cook more methodically: try something out, see what works, try again. I read a lot of recipes. I guess my most recent experiment was inspired by pudding week on Food 52. Puddings are so delicious and, in many cases, you can incorporate leftovers. And I love cooking with leftovers. So there you have it.

Perhaps you have never had the problem of leftover pancakes? I must confess that I really don't like pancakes very much. 19 times out of 20 I will chose a savory breakfast over a sweet one (yesterday's breakfast was braised cabbage!). But on Sunday pancakes seemed like a good idea, mostly because it was rainy and I had all of the ingredients in the house. The simplest way to deal with leftover pancakes is obviously to heat them up and enjoy them for breakfast another day. But my mind was stuck on pudding and so I began to concoct a recipe.

Crust
I started out reading recipes for bread pudding. Mostly I was looking at milk and egg ratios, but I also noticed that Paula Deen (that minx!) puts a crust on hers. Crunchy, buttery edges on a bread pudding? Yes, please! Deen uses butter, pecans and sugar for her crust (a fun game is to start the sentence "Deen uses butter, pecans and sugar for her..." and see how many true statements you can make). That idea swirled around in my head and became a sort of paste of almond flour, melted butter and brown sugar. The forward thinking among you will realize that this is (a) not going to distribute evenly across the top of a pudding and (b) not going to crisp up without burning the shit out of the rest of the pudding. So, pudding crust is half baked idea number one.

Custard
I knew that this bread pudding was not going to rely on the pancakes soaking up eggy custard for its texture. But since pancakes are eggy already, I figured, "no big deal." I kept thinking of components that would create a really rich, heavy dessert. Since this was a Monday night project, I thought it would be best to scale back on richness. So I used whole milk where I might have used cream and decided to forgo the idea of mixing melted butter into the dairy mixture (you read one Paula Deen recipe and you start thinking about pouring melted butter into everything!). I used two eggs and one cup of milk (arbitrarily decided from glancing at the bread pudding recipe currently on my computer screen). I thought about parcooking the custard a bit so it would form up before I layered it with the pancakes, but ultimately made the lazy choice not to. I did have the epiphany that separating the eggs and beating the yolks with the sugar and spices, then adding the milk and finally folding in the beaten whites would produces some sort of alchemical velvety texture. Guys, this was not correct. Or maybe it could have been, had I been using a better ratio. Again, you forward thinkers may have already guessed that two egg yolks beaten with three tablespoons of sugar is not going to retain any of it's thickness when mixed with an entire cup of (pretty cold) milk. Additionally when I attempted to fold in the egg whites, they did not blend so thoroughly and ended up separating out again in the pan. Mistake number two was custard ratio.



Seasoning
I love cardamom. It is, however, quite strong. I used one green cardamom pod in the pudding. I discarded the husk and crushed the seeds with the back of a spoon.* I added a bit of cinnamon and a dash of nutmeg. I mixed these spices with sugar so that the spice oils would bind to the crystals (this is the only advice I really took from the very comprehensive Food 52 pudding coverage). I had about a quarter cup of sugar in the spice bowl but only used two or three scant tablespoons. Mostly I was eyeballing to see that the sugar blended completely with the egg yolks. I did not remember to add vanilla extract, unfortunately. I think this would have rounded out the flavors a bit. The cardamom was pleasantly present in the finished product, but the flavor had an almost tonic quality. In my experience (with eating desserts) cardamom and vanilla show one another's best qualities: cardamom makes vanilla taste exotic and vanilla makes cardamom taste sweet. Next time I won't forget the vanilla.



Assembly and Cooking
I decided that 350 was the correct temperature at which to cook a bread pudding. I decided this not merely based upon the fact that is the default temperature for my oven, but also because it just felt right, you know? I cut all of my pancakes into strips that were about half an inch wide. I greased a small, ceramic casserole with butter and laid the strips along the bottom. I tore them to fit into a more or less even layer. Then I added the custard and pressed another layer of pancake scraps into the fluffy top (recall that the egg white separated out again). Then I sort of gobbed my "crust" on top. I really should have just left it off. It looked a lot like poop before and after baking. Some of the top layer of pancakes stuck out of the custard and created an alarming burning odor during the baking process. This led me to preemptively remove the pudding after less than 20 minutes. After I realized it was still very liquid-y I returned it to the oven until it was set in the middle. I imagine that it was about 35-40 minutes, but it's easy to tell it's done because there is no liquid when you push on the pancake pieces.



Reflection
Some time during the cooking process- maybe after the first bought of baking- I realized that this recipe could as easily be a variation on kugel** as a variation on bread pudding. I decided that in the second round I will try to incorporate more kugel-like methods. Mostly in the custard creation. I have been toying with the idea of substituting one half cup of the whole milk for sour cream (or, let's be honest, Greek yogurt). I don't think am ready for using a cheese product, though I think we can all agree that ricotta would be heavenly. I think that this would solve the issue I had of white and milk separating. Though I might also add another yolk or two (they are, after all, the best part). I could also have benefited from more liquid or less pancake. In addition to the above mentioned addition of vanilla, I have thought that a tiny scrape of citrus zest (orange?) to brighten up the spices. My line of thinking goes something like: "I would totally order any dessert that said it was orange, cardamom, vanilla flavored." It is important to remember that I am not a pastry chef. Maybe this would be taking on too much? Finally, though I think that my flavors are much more suited to almond than pecans, the texture of my crust was woefully wrong. I think in version 2.0 I'll try slivered almonds tossed with some of the sugar-spice mixture. They'll spread evenly over the surface and maybe even toast up while the pudding cooks.



Verdict
I was surprised by how much I liked eating it. It was sort of intensely egg-y warm, but I drizzled on some maple syrup and it was actually pretty nice. I enjoyed a piece cold the next day as well. Generally it is chewy and formed, rather than soft and gushy. Which is stylistically valid, I suppose. I would like it to be a little softer and less formed in future incarnations though. I am particularly interested in any feedback any of you might have.

Less successful than: Paula Deen's Best Bread Pudding

More successful than: Pudding and Yogurt cubes.

*Dear Santa: Please bring me a mortar and pestle.

**It must be noted that everything I know about kugel I learned from my goy of a mother. She's a beautiful, inspirational cook, but I have no idea if her recipe is authentic.

I thought I was your fish cake!**

Assiduous devotes of my Internet presence will remember that I have a particular fondness for making fritters with leftover fish. Over the weekend S and I cooked some Shad (so delicious! I'd never tried it before). We just broiled it for a couple minutes with butter and lemon. The fish was super tasty, but I just wasn't jazzed about eating a plain fillet leftover. Somehow the texture of reheated fish just doesn't appeal. And so last night I put together this easy dinner of fish cakes and salad.

Fish Cakes a la Rose

This can be done with any leftover fish. I've used sea bass, imitation crab meat and even swordfish. The rice works well as a binding agent and, conveniently, it is often my starch of choice for a fish dinner. You can get crazy with adding veggies, but don't go too over the top or you will ruin your texture.

Some leftover fish (we'll say 8 oz?)
Some leftover rice (we'll say 1/3 cup?)
3 Scallions (diced)
1 Clove garlic (a small one, minced)
Grated zest of half a lemon
2 tbs. chopped parsley
Bread crumbs*
An egg
Salt
Pepper
Olive oil suitable for frying

-Flake the fish so it is in manageable chunks. If you're using something denser it might make sense to dice, but generally all cooked fish can be broken up with a fork.

-Mix in the rice, scallions, garlic and lemon zest.

-Adjust seasoning by tasting first, then adding salt and pepper (the fish is already seasoned, so you don't want to go overboard).

-Mix in the egg. The mixture will be wet and uniform.

-Form into balls of about 2 tbs. each. Flatten the balls into patties and drag each side through bread crumbs.

-Chill formed patties in the fridge for about 30 mins. (this step can be skipped, but it does really help the fish cakes stay together in the pan).

-Heat up some olive oil and fry the cakes.

-Serve with salad and maybe hot sauce. I made a little dressing for the cakes with three parts low fat yogurt, one part Dijon mustard, one part mayonnaise and a sprinkle of cayenne pepper.



The recipe made five fish cakes. Though I have to warn you, I measured absolutely nothing.

*I hate setting up my food processor for small tasks, so I made the bread crumbs using the end of a loaf of sandwich bread and a box grater. It was pretty successful.

**You are all so lucky I didn't call this post "Hanging Shad" or "Not Too Shaddy!" Additionally, I am the reigning queen of asterisks.

***This would be very easy to do gluten free by dredging the cakes in a rice (or whatever) flour.

****(Record postscript use!) Shad has tiny bones! Last night when I was flossing (maybe 4 hours after I finished dinner) I found a bone lodged between my teeth. So be careful!

Thanksgiving!

So even though it's pretty much always sunny with highs in the seventies, Thanksgiving was last week. The Southern Hemisphere continues to confuse me. To celebrate I cooked the traditional meal for pretty much everyone I know here. I was expecting seven and ended up with ten (eleven for dessert). I also feel an overwhelming sense of accomplishment at having done it all by myself. The hardest part was tracking down all the necessary components. For example, although there are Chilean cranberry farms, there are virtually no cranberry products for sale. Also, fresh herbs (besides parsley) apparently won't be available until around Christmas time. Needless to say finding a whole turkey was not possible. But! I documented the whole process and, at the risk of boring all of you, this is how I did it:



I was going to need chicken broth for the stuffing and the gravy. The grocery store had condensed cans of Campbell's soup and cubes of mono-sodium-ized bullion. So I had to make my own stock. The kitchen is not equipped with many storage containers so I ended up pouring the stock into an empty bottle that once held a grapefruit flavored seltzer drink. I think the twinge of citrus the broth leeched from the plastic really added to the complexity of flavor.



So after searching high and low, I was only able to find dried cranberries and a bottle of the most expensive cranberry juice cocktail of all time. I decided to cook these down with frozen raspberries, some red wine and apple chunks. In the end I added quite a bit of orange zest to accomplish tartness. It wasn't cranberry sauce. But it was pretty tasty.



I have been so spoiled having a Cuisinart for the last two years. Cutting together pie dough by hand is tedious and tiring. I was glad that shortening is readily available here though. And it's made with animal fat rather than just vegetable oil so it's extra delicious.



I did a sort of loose conversion of my mother's ratios for crust into metric. And then I realized that I don't even have metric measuring cups and eye-balled the whole thing. I might have skimped on the flour a little, but ultimately it's hard to complain about a crust being too buttery.



I guess I've made more gorgeous pies. I'll have to practice more.



So it's a chicken, not a turkey. And I trussed it with dental floss (for a hint of mint). But there wasn't a single bit left. So I must have done something right.



We didn't have knives for people to cut the meat. Wine was mostly drunk from mugs. We even had to improvise a seat with the propane tank from the stove and a board... But it fits nicely with the spirit of the holiday to have people from six different countries come together over a meal.

Currying Flavor

So the Chilean diet has some quirks. Or maybe it has absolutely no quirks at all. The food here is definitely not bad. But it's certainly different and not in a particularly exciting way. I like the two national street foods: giant, calzone-like empanadas and completos, which are hot dogs covered in avocado, tomato and mayonnaise. But generally the intensity of flavor around here is pretty low. Culinarily, the most exciting thing is being able to buy a kilogram of strawberries and two perfect avocados for about two dollars. Many can attest to my abiding love for strawberry-avocado salads, but like anything, one gets sick of them after a while. Especially when one is consuming strawberries by the kilo to avoid spoilage.

So today I decided to branch out a bit and make a curry. I wouldn't say that curry is a staple of my repertoire, but I feel comfortable making it. The nice thing about curry is you can make it with anything as long as you can find curry powder (or paste, but they don't even have milk in the refrigerated section of the grocery store here). When I began my adventure I wasn't sure I'd be able to find the powder. But sure enough, it was on the shelf in the international section of the grocery store, tucked behind some soy sauce. I also bought the brownest looking rice (it was not actually brown rice), some chicken legs (easy) and a can of what I thought was coconut milk. It was actually coconut cream, unfortunately. Which turned out to be really delicious and I ate some spread on a piece of bread as dessert.

Veggies were of course no problem. Cauliflower, strangely awesome potatoes, carrots, peppers... my roommate even had a ginger root stashed in the freezer she let me use (thanks, Nike!). So the curry was coming along nicely. My other roommate demonstrated the completely foreign can opener (thanks, Rodrigo!- It actually seems to just be a blade you use to cut open cans). I sort of just added gobs of coconut cream and lots of water where I would normally use coconut milk. And honestly it wasn't bad. The curry powder had a nice kick. It was definitely better than the curry powder I bought from the bodega on fourth avenue in Park Slope. All in all, I think I'll be able to figure out how to approximate all the varieties of foods I have been missing. Maybe next I'll try chili. Because puns make things more delicious.

Slate, Apartment Clean

Yesterday I managed to have a pretty low-stress (for me) dinner party. I made super easy comfortable stuff and we drank a ton of wine and it really wasn't a big deal that no one really knew anyone else. Anyhow, it made me realize how very much I love my apartment. There were only six of us here yesterday, but the room felt so full. Not uncomfortably so (it does when there are eight...) but just happy full. The yellow on the walls and the brown lap shade made it soft and warm feeling. Sure the chairs aren't that comfortable and the legs seems to be coming off one of them, but I love the way everything has been found, acquired, bought for a couple dollars and the overall effect is so unified and personal and feels reflective of me and of Richard. So it's really great to have people that I've met in various places all sit in this space and drink out of these cups that I found in a shoebox on the street.

I am feeling excited actually. Not because I am really doing anything special. But because I know that I am about to. I think it's a sort of thing with spring time. Right now it's still pretty chilly most days but the sun has been consistently brilliant. It's great because I have all this time and the stupid-big sunglasses so I can just walk where ever seems sunniest and soak in all the vitamins (or just D, really). I am thinking and planning and having ideas and throwing them out. It's like exercising a muscle. The change muscle. Feels good.

Keepin' it Smooth '08

So I don't like to brag here, but I got a pretty sweet gift for Christmas this year. A food processor. Like a real fancy, Cuisinart one. It's so sleek, so easy, so smooth-making. And although I did use it to make crusts for my annual New Year's Day quiche (little too wet, not so easy to roll), tonight I did an awesome food-processor-enabled thing. Butternut Squash Soup.


I have to say that this is one of my very favorite types of soup. And I do like soup. I just don't think it would be possible to effectively deliver the consistency that gives this soup that certain je ne sais quois (disclaimer: spell check doesn't work on French) with a hand-operated device. I'm sure all you Luddites out there reading this blog (you know, on computers) will balk at my newly mechanized kitchen habits, but really is there any other way to get that smooth, nearly fluffy texture? You see, what I did was add heavy cream during the processing of the soup. And it sort of fluffed up. Perfect.

And I hope this doesn't make you too jealous, but I'm going to eat it again for lunch tomorrow.

Sunday Cooking Diary: A Prelude

So the weather is fucking awful right now. I guess you might say it's sleeting. But what that wouldn't convey is the bitter cold, wind and wet ice. Well, maybe it covers the wet ice part. The point is when I left work tonight I saw about four girls in skinny high heels fall down completely. But in spite of the weather I went grocery shopping. You see, Pot Luck Club is tomorrow and it has been time shifted to three pm. Many would note that that is fully the middle of the day, but when one considers when I normally rise on Sundays... well, you get it. Going to the grocery store is practically out of the question tomorrow. As it is, I didn't remember to buy paper towels or coffee which are probably equally indispensible to tomorrow's game plan. When I got home I decided to wash all the dishes in the sink.* This really puts me on my mark for waking up tomorrow (maybe not the caffine and absorption marks). So I don't regret it, really. What I sort of regret is my decision to watch DVR'd 30 Rock and drink a finger or two of the big bottle wine Richard left on the counter. Elaine Stricht is totally worth staying up for, but I think it's too late for me to see trailers for Sweeney Todd without getting too hot and bothered.

*On my way in I met one of my neighbors who is also a waitress and was coming home in the wet. My building isn't 100% geriatric! Comraderie!

Wednesday Cooking Diary: Chili

Chili is absolutely the easiest thing to cook. Ben, my roommate when I was nineteen taught me how to make it. I am pretty sure that his dad just told him over the phone to dump a bunch of cans into a pot and cook it with chili powder. Over the course of that year, when I was as poor as I ever plan to be, we tried putting lots of different things into the pot. Mostly it always tastes good, but now I have settled on a pretty good method:

-I start with a small yellow onion and three medium sized garlic cloves, all diced.

-I saute this with a pound of ground turkey until there aren't any pink parts left (this is a post-Philly addition. I could not afford luxuries like ground turkey that year).

-I add some diced up green pepper, a little bit of red bell pepper (little sweetness, little color), a can of whole kernel corn, a can of beans (kidney tonight, but often black) and a large can of diced tomatoes in juice (not with basil). Sometimes I add some diced jalepeno. HEAT!

-Add three heavy dashes of cumin, a dash of cinnamon, three heavy dashes of chili powder... When I want it spicy, I do some cayenne. Longer cooking time is better for maximizing flavor, so tonight it's going to simmer for close to an hour.

My favorite thing with chili is cornbread and so I often do the Jiffy boxed kind. It's really tasty, really easy. Which is good because I am so tired.

There's not real cooking time necessary on this. You want it to be soft, you want it to be flavorful.

Turkey Cooking Diary, Photos

My dad called them "the girls." Which is also what he calls me and my sister. Weird.



Working my magic.



Giblets!



An example of how crowded it was.



Fifteen cousins (missing Stephanie).



Friends!!!!!

Turkey Cooking Diary

So I did it. Well... apparently I under did it and it had to be done more but I pretty much cooked a turkey today. It was remarkably smooth going compared to my mother's process. Whenever I felt like there was a lot to do I just looked over and saw her cursing the stove or her potholders or the ironing board. Calm by comparison, that's the ticket. I would like to recommend that should you choose to cook a turkey, it's probably not a good idea to get drunk the night before. Should you try this you might find that the very sight of raw poultry skin could make those awful nauseous chills go up and down your arms. Not to mention the awfulness of standing next to a bowl of cherries and apricots soaking in brandy. So gross.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Preparing Turkey

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, my thoughts naturally turn to flaky crusts and gooey fillings. This year, however, I will also be taking on a new and somewhat stressful responsibility. I am going to make a turkey. Mind you it won't be THE turkey. My parent's are hosting an intimate Thanksgiving for forty; there are soup kitchens that will be serving fewer people than my mother on Thursday. One turkey simply will not suffice for that many people. And so, my mom is making two "little" turkeys, her cousin is making one and my grandma is making a turkey breast. In this situation "little" means fourteen pounds, so really there's going to be tons of meat. I suggested to my mom yesterday that she try this tasty lemon and thyme roasting preparation I used on a chicken a few weeks ago. And somehow this suggestion led to my agreeing to prepare one of my mother's two allotted turkeys. So now, rather than the backseat helpful position I normally take at Thanksgiving (or any other occasion for my mother to spend seven or more hours in the kitchen), I will be right in the middle of things. Lovingly basting my bird with a paste of olive oil, lemon juice, garlic and thyme. Surrounded by shrieks offset by burning pot holders and dropped pies. Happy holidays indeed.

Monday Cooking Diary, pt. 2: Glorious Kale!

So my kale recipe? Was fucking phenomenal! I mean, not to toot my own horn but, Jessica Seinfeld take note, this is how to make people eat vegetables. I did modify the recipe a little as per the very helpful message board. I used more curry and a combo of low sodium chicken broth and some very old apple cider that was languishing at the back of the fridge (apparently it's better for cooking that way!). Also the seven hours in the slow cooker makes for some crazy tender beef. I wish that the broth was thicker and the flavor of the parsnips had come through more, but other than that I felt pretty good about the meal.
So anyone have ideas for what I should try to cook next? I need an eggplant-free meat dish to bring to the Pot Luck Club (the name is an extremely subtly play on the title of the Amy Tan novel) on Sunday and then dinner for the boys on Monday. So let me know. What's delicious? I'm up for a challenge. Cause if I fail, you know I can just write a better blog entry about it.

Monday Cooking Diary, Pt. 1: Crock Pot, Talk Shows

Many of you may know that I am fairly new to eating mammal flesh. It's been about a year and a half now, and I have tried lots of things. But honestly I haven't cooked that many of them. So today I decided to take on beef stew. It's sort of perfect for the season, not just because it's getting chilly, but also because root vegetables are so delicious at this time of year. In a lot of ways stews are the perfect place for tubers because the other stew items lend the fleshy veggie chunks savory flavor. Reciprocally the starchiness of root veggies makes the stew thicker. My final inspiration was the fact that Josh has a crock pot (in the interest of full discourse, the crock pot belongs to his mother, he has been borrowing it since last winter).


Not to sound like a crazy TV advertisement but cooking with a crock pot is embarrassingly easy. Basically I bought a bunch of vegetables, some beef and a couple cans of Murphy's Irish Stout (I don't buy Irish stout in a bottle, it's not right). I chopped everything up and put it into the crock pot at two o'clock. It'll be ready around nine. I didn't even use a recipe!

This has left me with a lot of free time. I plan to make some kale (more on that later) but I don't need to start until eight-thirty or so. So I have basically spent the day in full domestic mode. I'm sure it would be ok to leave the crock pot a while, but it makes me nervous. An independent, heat-causing appliance left on while I leave the house??? Surely my father would climb through the phone lines from Boston to prevent such a mistake! So I have mopped, tidied, done dishes, done laundry and watched several daytime talk shows. Of course the hosts covered a variety of topics, but Ellen, through some bizarre cosmic synchronicity did a CROCK POT themed episode today! She was making some gross looking stuff like eight hour chicken breasts cooked in salsa. Which in turn makes me feel better about the delicious smells wafting from my kitchen. Yes, I think it will be alright. Look for an update later tonight!

*Did anyone catch the Tyra show today?? It was called "What's up down there?" and was awkwardly about gynecological health. I mean, has the Vagina Monologues done nothing in its eleven years of production? Does anyone want to learn about menstrual synchronicity and HPV from a woman so prone to dramatic facial expressions and self-involvement? It's embarrassing!