Heating the Beat

So it's actually just fucking sweltering in New York. I may be lucky enough to be crashing in an air conditioned apartment, but honestly the humidity just seeps in. And going places is positively sticky no matter what. So short of sitting in front of the AC with nothing on but your laptop and a cool towel round your neck, I have devised a few sure fire ways to cool off on a budget.
1) Seltzer with lime- Is SO MUCH BETTER than any of those sweet beverages (lemonade for example) when you are truly and profoundly hot. The bubbles sort of shoot little pockets of cool into your blood stream. HINT: 4 ice cube minimum, depending on glass size.
2) Incorporating ice cubes into foreplay- It seems tacky to talk about (I assure you I am just repeating an unsubstantiated rumor) and maybe you'll be haunted by memories of that scene from Hot Shots, but it is said to make you feel "profoundly cool."
3)FrozFruit- Just over a dollar usually. And worth every penny. (Recommended: coconut, strawberry and pineapple. The watermelon has seeds, true story).
4)Cold Soup- And not just gazpacho! Chilled cantaloupe soup, bourgie though it may sound, is just fantastic!
5) Heirloom Tomatoes- They have begun to appear at the farmer's markets and, let me tell you, I couldn't be more ready. They should really take off in the next week or two, but look out for some of my favorite varieties including the Yellow Peach, which has a pale butter-like color and a soft, furry skin and the Green Zebra, with a vivid, watermelon-like skin. All it takes is maybe some salt and a little bit of bread, fresh basil if your fancy and cheese if you got it and BAM! So delicious! And no cooking required.
6)Frozen Grapes- So maybe there is a little focus on comestibles (and fruit) in this list.... I really just like food. Freezing grapes is a genius way to cool off. I think green ones work best (they have that cool, refreshing tartness), but whatever looks best to you will work. I would like to point out to the penny pinchers among us that a bag of frozen raspberries or blueberries is a thrifty and satisfying way to enjoy a cool fruity treat.